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Dear Friends and Friends of Friends,

I invite you to participate in "The Tim Midgett $1000 Monocle Challenge".

Here is the deal: If I am able to coordinate $1000 in donations to Tim's selected charities, then he will wear his monocle (yes, friend, Tim owns a fucking monocle) for the duration of the SKWM tribute show on Saturday March 3 at the Empty Bottle in Chicago IL.

Tim has selected the following charities for your donations:

Hull House
SW Chicago PADS

If you choose to support this important cause, then kindly make your donation ($5! $10! $20! $50! $100! So great!) directly to either of these charities via their internet websites. It's really G.D. easy! After you have made your donation, kindly let me know the amount of your donation via personal message for monocle obligation-tracking purposes.

Assuming that I meet the $1000 pledge goal, I promise to post photographs of the bemonocled and "dastardly" Mr. Midgett immediately following the SKWM tribute show.

For those of you who have already pledged funds to this important cause, bless you. There is a place for you in the heart and mind of a young Idahoan, whose name I believe to be Dwayne.

Salut!

Bradley R. Weissenberger
Boise ID

So, if you were to raise $2000 dollars would he then be obliged to wear two monocles...or even a pair of glasses?

Next payday, I am in!

This is going to be great.

Cranius wrote:So, if you were to raise $2000 dollars would he then be obliged to wear two monocles...or even a pair of glasses?

Perhaps one monacle stacked on top of another monacle?

I think next is the top hat

Monocle + Doctor's Mirror?

This must be from the Ein Heit days right?

Can somebody email me these pictures once they're available?
Shame on you guys if you can't do it.

$1000: Monocle.

$2000: Add cane.

$3000: Add pipe.

$4000: Add top hat (provided by BRW).

$5000: Dye hair white.

If $10,000 is raised, a papier mache Mr. Peanut costume might be called for. I would be happy to construct this item.

?

tmidgett wrote:$1000: Monocle.

$2000: Add cane.

$3000: Add pipe.

$4000: Add top hat (provided by BRW).

$5000: Dye hair white.

tommydski wrote: ?

How much to add one of electrons' fake mustaches from his Halloween party?

Hey!

Enough with the chit chat!

Donate!

There is absolutely no amount that is too small.

There is also no amount that is too large, but I guess that probably goes without saying.

tommydski wrote:This must be from the Ein Heit days right?

Dear tommydski,

I meant to answer your question.

No, Ein Heit days were more like blue velvet tuxedo jacket with running shorts. Or purple dress shirt with no collar on it. That kind of thing.

The monocle came from having an unused vision benefit at my old place of work. I thought "What the hell can I get with my vision benefit? I already have glasses that I rarely wear, and I have prescription sunglasses as well." I had no desire to have contacts.

I realized a monocle was the only reasonable option.

Craig Scott Opticians ordered it for me. I couldn't even see a picture of it before I ordered it.

Truthfully, if I had seen a picture, I would not have gotten it. It's too big--I mean, I can wear it, but it doesn't look evil, like the tiny monocles do. I might still buy a smallish monocle with one of those black rubber edges on it.

Yours,

TM

tmidgett wrote:Craig Scott Opticians ordered it for me.

It's a functional monocle?

Can we get a picture of the monocle alone, too?

vockins wrote:Can we get a picture of the monocle alone, too?

Hey, Tim, while you're at it, can you get a couple pics of it engaged in various activities, such as horseback riding, or snorkelling? That would be tops! Thanks, chap!

scott wrote:

vockins wrote:Can we get a picture of the monocle alone, too?

Hey, Tim, while you're at it, can you get a couple pics of it engaged in various activities, such as horseback riding, or snorkelling? That would be tops! Thanks, chap!

Have you seen a functional monocle?

I have spent at least 24 hours in all 48 of the continental United States. I have seen a bird get killed by a batted ball in a regular season Major League Baseball game. I have seen Fidel Castro walking on the street in New York City. I have seen a loop water slide.

I have never in my life seen a functional monocle.

If the monocle is an equestrian, then yes, it would be mind expanding the see a picture of that monocle practicing its craft.

vockins wrote:

scott wrote:

vockins wrote:Can we get a picture of the monocle alone, too?

Hey, Tim, while you're at it, can you get a couple pics of it engaged in various activities, such as horseback riding, or snorkelling? That would be tops! Thanks, chap!

Have you seen a functional monocle?

I have spent at least 24 hours in all 48 of the continental United States. I have seen a bird get killed by a batted ball in a regular season Major League Baseball game. I have seen Fidel Castro walking on the street in New York City. I have seen a loop water slide.

I have never in my life seen a functional monocle.

If the monocle is an equestrian, then yes, it would be mind expanding the see a picture of that monocle practicing its craft.

I've seen Mon Oncle smoking a pipe while riding a bike, wearing a hat, & being chased by a dog.

tmidgett wrote:$1000: Monocle.

$2000: Add cane.

$3000: Add pipe.

$4000: Add top hat (provided by BRW).

$5000: Dye hair white.

How much will it take for you to recite "Le Monocle de Mon Oncle" from the stage? My personal favorite is section X:

The fops of fancy in their poems leave
Memorabilia of the mystic spouts,
Spontaneously watering their gritty soils.
I am a yeoman, as such fellows go.
I know no magic trees, no balmy boughs,
No silver-ruddy, gold-vermilion fruits.
But, after all, I know a tree that bears
A semblance to the thing I have in mind.
It stands gigantic, with a certain tip
To which all birds come sometime in their time.
But when they go that tip still tips the tree.

vockins wrote:

tmidgett wrote:Craig Scott Opticians ordered it for me.

It's a functional monocle?

I would not go see a band called Functional Monocle.