Sexual Position: The Sixty-Nine (69)

[Benny]

69. at first i thought it was the best thing ever but after several years, i choose CRAP. it's nice, but too uncomfortable for the both persons and you don't do the job as good as you're supposed to.
lots of waffles, because well you're having sex after all and it can finish in a hilarous situation.

[D./Eksvplot]

The 69 may not be optimal, as far as positions go, but I'd hardly call it CRAP.

[DasWiso]

Jesus Christ. Not Crap.

Maybe not the ideal position for such activities, but typically by the point this little maneuver shows-up you shouldn't be looking for the fat lady to sing anyway. I think it's a little gem that gets thing started the right direction for the main course. Jesus Christ. Now you got me sounding like 'The Joy of Sex'.

[Lonesome Bulldog]

There's nothing like when a woman is going mental from what she's getting, and she goes berzerk on your knob. It's like she's trying to split her skull open on the dick. You really need to whip her into that frenzy, and lapping at the pün seems to do the trick.

[busbus]

There's nothing like when a woman is going mental from what she's getting, and she goes berzerk on your knob. It's like she's trying to split her skull open on the dick. You really need to whip her into that frenzy, and lapping at the pün seems to do the trick.

I bet deaf people would appreciate someone like you writing the close captioned version of their porn DVD. I'm also thinking radio porn for the blind.

[Steve V.]

There's nothing like when a woman is going mental from what she's getting, and she goes berzerk on your knob. It's like she's trying to split her skull open on the dick. You really need to whip her into that frenzy, and lapping at the pün seems to do the trick.

I bet deaf people would appreciate someone like you writing the close captioned version of their porn DVDs.

Brilliant.

Anyways, if you can orally pleasure a woman well, then yes, she will most likely go absolutely bonkers on your rod, which is most excellent. So yes, 69 - not crap. Never boring.

There's also the lazy 69, which I nicknamed the 67, where you lay down as she slobs on your prick, and you just reach between her legs and go fucking deep as you can. If she's on her knees on the floor and you're on the edge of the bed, if you can lift her up with one arm and get up on whatever surface you are upon...she will go momentarily retarded. Then she'll likely lose focus from the vaginal awesomeness and try to overcompensate by taking the whole thing...yeah.

*rocks on his rocking chair and starts whittling a wooden vagina*

[Lonesome Bulldog]

This thread is terrible and I am totally part of the problem. Why do we seem to think this discussion is valid here...

[big_dave]

Jesus Christ. It's like 2LiveCrew started a poetry workshop.

[big_dave]

Steve V. totally rapped his post:

Brilliant - Anywayz,
if you can orally pleasure a woman
well, then yes, she will
most likely go absolutely bonkers
on your rod, which is
most excellent.

So yes, 69
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.


There's also the lazy 69,
which I nicknamed the 67,
where you lay down as she slobs on your prick,
and you just reach between her legs
and go fucking deep as you can.
If she's on her knees on the floor and
you're on the edge of the bed,
if you can lift her up with one arm
and get up on whatever surface you
are upon

...she will go momentarily retarded.

Then she'll likely lose focus
from the vaginal awesomeness
and try to overcompensate
by taking the whole thing...yeah.


So yes, 69
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.

*rocks on his rocking chair and
starts whittling a wooden vagina*[skit]

[Jujyfruits]

last four posts are totally hall of fame material.

[enframed]

if you don't like that you're clearly doing it wrong. LB and steve v. got it right.

[Jason A]

Steve V. totally rapped his post:

Brilliant - Anywayz,
if you can orally pleasure a woman
well, then yes, she will
most likely go absolutely bonkers
on your rod, which is
most excellent.

So yes, 69
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.


There's also the lazy 69,
which I nicknamed the 67,
where you lay down as she slobs on your prick,
and you just reach between her legs
and go fucking deep as you can.
If she's on her knees on the floor and
you're on the edge of the bed,
if you can lift her up with one arm
and get up on whatever surface you
are upon

...she will go momentarily retarded.

Then she'll likely lose focus
from the vaginal awesomeness
and try to overcompensate
by taking the whole thing...yeah.


So yes, 69
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.
- not crap. Never boring.

*rocks on his rocking chair and
starts whittling a wooden vagina*[skit]

So awesome, on all levels.

69 = Not Crap... I'm still not clear on this so-called "67" and its execution, though I enjoyed the original post and the rap immensely. Especially the whittling of a wooden vagina.

[japmn]

Is a 70 when a you are being spooned by a fat chick?

[SecondEdition]

There's nothing like when a woman is going mental from what she's getting, and she goes berzerk on your knob. It's like she's trying to split her skull open on the dick. You really need to whip her into that frenzy, and lapping at the pün seems to do the trick.

I bet deaf people would appreciate someone like you writing the close captioned version of their porn DVDs.

I literally laughed like a hyena after reading this.

[amelia]

Jesus Christ. It's like 2LiveCrew started a poetry workshop.

lolz, brilliant

edit: someone needs to record that rap.

[Pure L]

Not crap but I seem to be doing a whole lot of the 99 lately.

Gotta stop pissin' off the wife!

[eephour]

never a bad time.

[Allan Sims]

Not crap but I seem to be doing a whole lot of the 99 lately.

I'd have no complaints.

[RSMurphy]

I feel extremely self-conscious while this is happening, like: are we really doing this? am I going to put you into a basket afterwards and play Leo Sayer on the 8-track?

Now that I think about it, it's borderline cheesy/creepy.

whole mess of waffles, but it feels good. so conflicted.

[Ernest]

I had a lot of fun with this. Not crap.

Brilliant - Anywayz,
if you can orally pleasure a woman
well, then yes, she will
most likely go absolutely bonkers
on your rod, which is
most excellent.

Most excellent post.