Best Shellac Q & A?

[mattw]

I enjoyed the San Francisco Q & A-

Guy asked a typical question directed toward Steve and he replied "I guess you've been going through your old copies of Forced Exposure...someone get this guy laid..."

[bonati]

At a show in Bloomington, Indiana, I once asked "Why doesn't Todd get to answer questions?"

Steve's reply was "Todd would have to get up to answer questions."

[diego]

When Shellac got invited at ATP by Mogwai,someone asked "Are you made out of paint?".
Bob Weston just told him to leave the venue.

[El Protoolio]

Boston mid 90's as Steve was changing a string the question was "why not only release Shellac on vinyl if you're such analog enthusiasts?" Bob said "because that would be elitest and we're not elitest." To which Steve interjected "actually we are, but like the CIA we use plausible deniability"

[Tom]

Audience Member:
Are your amplifiers affected by Wow And Flutter??

Answer:
A very dry and boring explanation of of Wow And Flutter and how it could not possibly affect an amplifier.

[R Clem]

Minneapolis, 7th Street Entry, The 1990's:

"Is Todd single?"

(A short delay as Todd stands up, walks around his kit and leans over to the mic)

Todd: "I prefer to spend my free time with my parents."

[mel]

indianapolis, summer 2001

young male audience member: do you ever play any rapeman songs?

steve: i don't know, do you dress up like your mom and fuck your dad?


nashville, summer 2004

random audience member: bob, why do you rock so hard?

bob: it's all the dairy.

[Matthias]

Random Guy: How come that you sometimes have these long breaks in between your songs and then you guy suddenly start to play again at the same time without even looking at each other. Are there any secret signs, any tricks? How tthe fuck do you do it?

Bob Weston: We are a band. We practice.

[Rotten Tanx]

As years go by and there are more and more tv channels, I can see these Q & As becoming a chat show on MTV9 or something.

Then, like all American chat shows, they'll get a desk and a band and make shit jokes about the president.

(while I'm on, is the only difference between leno and letterman that the bald band leader is on a different side of the stage?)

[Andrew Weatherhead]

Who makes the best microphones in Evanston?

[bobulatorm]

atp...

'play 'wingwalker'

'this is the song, cunthole'

[Rotten Tanx]

Well that wasnt a Q&A, that was a heckle, but it was much funnier than that:


-I'm a plane voo voo voo

-PLAY THE FUCKING SONG

-THIS IS THE SONG, CUNTHOLE voo vooo voo

[placeholder]

OK, this is a boring story, but here goes:

At the Nashville show a couple of months back, my girlfriend and I were about one row of people back from the front of the stage. After enjoying Pinebender's fine rock music, we were asked to clear a path from the front of the stage to the door so that Pinebender could load their equipment out, which we did. As Pinebender were loading out, this group of utter douchebags shoved its way through the door, through the densely-packed crowd, and positioned itself riiiight up front in Pinebender's way. They stood there, making the band load out around them, and laughing off any suggestion that they might be in the way. Pinebender finally finished loading out, and as we were waiting for Shellac to come out, this other asshat (who I believe posts on this very messageboard) started trying to shove his way through to the front. Of course, there was NO ROOM in the front to begin with, as the people who were already up there for Pinebender had simply crammed off to the sides, and the other few people who ran up there during their load-out made things much more cramped. In any case, this kid kept whining about wanting to get through to the front, and trying to shove his way through. We, and several people around us, explained (in a pretty civil manner, considering the circumstances) to the kid that there isn't any room up front or WE'D all be closer. You know: There-Is-No-Room. Still, he tried to shove his way through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, eventually shoving my girlfriend, then making some irritating comment about it. At this point, she threw her drink in his face, then hit him with the cup (which is something I've never seen her do). Of course, the kid (who was the spitting image of the singer from Puddle of Mudd, or one of those bands) started crying about it, and kept yelling "fuck you" and "Hey, thanks for the water" to us, over and over. Shellac came out and started to play, yet this cunt didn't stop yammering. By this point, many people were again telling this kid to shut it. Several songs in, he finally relented.

During the Q&A, he first asked why Shellac don't play any Big Black songs. Then, after a few more questions he piped up again:

Puddle of Mudd kid: Why did these people throw water on me?

Bob: Why did they throw water on you? I don't know...

My Girlfriend: Because he's a cocksucker.

Bob: Oh, it's because you're a cocksucker.

The kid then made this sorta triumphant gesture

Steve: You shouldn't be proud of that.

The end.

Look! I'm an annoying fanboy!

[Rotten Tanx]

(who I believe posts on this very messageboard)

Sorry about that. Thanks for the water!

[Naked City]

Man I was the guy at the front of the stage near you with the amish type beard. I have never been in a fight in my life, but I wanted to pummel that guy. Shellac's responses to him were priceless.

[Jon]

Shellac's responses to him were priceless.

i'll give you £10 for the lot.

[n-eight]

Man I was the guy at the front of the stage near you with the amish type beard. I have never been in a fight in my life, but I wanted to pummel that guy. Shellac's responses to him were priceless.

I was right there as well. I asked Bob why it burned when I peed. The audible groans and hesitant laughter from the crowd were almost as good as the confused look on Bob's face.

[Minotaur029]

I found this thread while looking for a Pinebender thread so as to avoid a kerbling.

[benadrian]

Who makes the best microphones in Evanston?

Bob: I dunno, Beyer?

I found it funny.

[pepezabala]

barcelona

Audience: "Todd, what do you want to be when you're grown up?"

Todd: (Come to the microphone) "First, I am want I want to be. Second, I don't want to grow up."